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Home > article

Understanding the Psyche
by ashiq on 10/05/2004 05:50 AM
We at WrongPlanet thought it would be very interesting and enlighting if we could look into the minds and psyches of the various "community celebrities". Because this thought has been running through our minds for quite some time now, we have asked a famous German psychologist, Eliza Totmacher, who specialises in psychoanalysis through the written word, to research various selected persons through the course of a three month period, by means of their message board postings.

We were able to supply actual material for most persons, although some have been very inactive in posting messages( maybe they anticipated this? :-) so in those cases we used old material taken from our very own powerful message board archive and search engine. Eliza then used her awardwinning psychoanalysis system to come up with some very thought provoking results. Often spot on if we may say so. Of course she did not have any prior knowledge of the subjects she analysed.

We will give you the list of names we gave to her and then will quote her findings for every person. The persons analysed are:

Ralph, It's done when it's done, Schmidt(Laire); William, we support OS4 on pegasos, Buck; Ben, I am a lawyer!, Hermans; Michael, LOL!, Bouma; Mikey, I like gay names, _c; Matt, Piss off you tart!, Sealey(Neko)

Our psychoanalyst
Eliza Totmacher

F34r his wrath

Ralph Schmidt
WP: We used some older material for this subject.
Eliza says:

Now this person is very interesting indeed. He appears to be highly intelligent. This makes him very intolerant to, in his eyes, 'lesser beings' who ask all kinds of 'pointless' and 'obvious questions'. He is silent by nature, but inside it storms. He is a passionate person for those who are close to him. But given his nature there will only be a few close and strong enough to experience and endure that. Unlike most similar people he has a rather well developed emotional capability, but he choses to keep that for himself and his loved ones. One thing to note is he has a strong dormant anger, waiting to come out. He may be a in the closet (metaphorically or physically). It could be partially the reason for his anger.

Yes it is him!
Rare footage of the man himself. Click to enlarge.

Just my 2 cents

William Buck
WP: Also for this person we had to partially use some older material.
Eliza says:

He is obviously communicative and socially capable. He is not held back by overdeveloped technical capabilities. On the surface he appears to be well balanced. Is he an ex-military person? It seems he has had something like a military education and drill. This seems to have corrupted his psyche in such a manner that at times when pressured his behaviour becomes very erratic and violent. For now he can keep himself in control, but I would not like to be around when he will lose this control. I suspect he is a member of the NRA and keeps a large collection of (outlawed) assault rifles in his house. This is a dangerous man.

Is that Buck? Yes it is!
The creepy smile on the right! Click to enlarge.

PMS 24/7

Ben Hermans
Eliza says:
Wasn't the last hurricane called Hermans? A fitting designation I would say.
This is an obvious case of a dominant mother complex. He must have had a very difficult youth. He feels very insecure and tries to hide it by being a bully. This angers a lot of people, but anger is not the proper response: he needs care and understanding, a pat on the shoulder, a hug. (although he would likely respond violently to such gestures). It may be hard for anyone to come close to him, so he must be lonely. His inferiority complex also makes him touch up his personal achievements. There is a dark side to this man, has anyone ever looked under his stairs?

Hermans showing something he will never be, hot. Click to enlarge.

Guardian angel

Michael Bouma
WP: Some of the material supplied appeared as anonymous comments, but the ip could be traced to Mr. Bouma.
Eliza says:

This person seems to be suffering from something I have called the 'angelica complex'. He is convinced he does good in this world, that his intentions are only good and he humbly strives to do well. The problem with this mental condition is that often the opposite is true. That is, they think they do good, but actually behave mean and sneaky and lie a lot. He has a great desire to be important and will not shy away from taking harsh measures to get into positions of importance. Although this individual has a rather underdeveloped mental capability his condition could otherwise cause great harm. It is by virtue of this that little harm has been done so far.

Bouma and wife
Michael Bouma and his wife


Eliza says:
This person is a control freak, he likely is a neat freak also. He will not hesitate to wipe his yard clean 3 times a day in Fall to clear it of leaves. I would not be surprised if his garden has no plants and he rakes it two times a day to keep it that way. Everything in his house has to have a special place, labels facing forward. He washes his hands a lot. This neurotic condition looks rather innocent to bystanders, but can become a big problem for him personally. He thinks he can control others and will often try to do so. Most times he isn't being taken seriously and so his efforts are fruitless. Although this condition is normally not related to retarded mental capabilities, this individual, like Mr. Bouma, does not appear to be very smart. He seems happy like a dog can be happy. Which can be a good thing. He has a drinking problem. This person probably may have tried to be gay, but maybe failed to find any men willing to have sex with him. For the rest he seems happy in love, although he can only attract the women left over after the bar closes in the night. Not a desirable thing indeed.

Mikey_C sober!
Mikey_C sober, we don't want to know how he looks like when drunk.

Get outa my face you ratfaced f ucktwat!!

Matt Sealey
Eliza says:
Now, along with Ralph Schmidt, this must be the most interesting case. Although not as smart as Herr Schmidt, he still possesses advanced mental capabilities. Sadly for him what he has in analytical and technical skills he lacks in emotional skills, even though he strongly believes he has advanced emotional capabilities. It is very hard for this person to 'fit in' and to behave in a socially acceptable manner. That makes him to be rather hostile to his environment. So he is not very loved, but this does not bother him personally. He has a deeply rooted belief that he is a really nice person, but I can not find anything that makes me come to the same conclusions. He has a desire to be liked, but the urge for hostility overtakes that. He is especially hostile towards women. The person is angry at the world and the world is angry at him! He appears to have had a happy youth though, maybe a bit spoilt, do not mess with his Buffy DVDs is my advice. Perhaps his hostile nature is the result of a slight hormonal imbalance.

Don't mess with the cat!
Matt, we dig those glasses!

Eliza summarises and concludes

What can I say. It is fairly obvious we are dealing with a group of very interesting but also troubled individuals. In my personal opinion I would not want to share my bed with any of them, yuck. And I am used to a lot in that respect, haha. And there are no women! Why is that? This must be a group of people from some computer related subculture. Also the never ending amount of gibberish they talk about seems to imply that, though I, a modern, intelligent and well educated woman, could not make head neither tails from it. It must be one of those deep hidden subcultures, you know, the creepy dark corners where the outcast hangs out. Such subcultures attract weirdos like there is no tomorrow. My oldest son is looking for a subject for his anthropology phd and this may be the perfect one. I am sure it would catch the interest of his professors. Do you mind if I pass him the data we gathered?

My advice, avoid! Except for scientifical research. Also I am happy I do not have to provide mental therapy to any of those people. Some mental conditions just can not be cured, only managed at best.

One of Eliza's research papers
This nicely shows the depth and complexity of her research
Article Manager module by by George! Software.

The comments are owned by the poster. We are not responsible for its content.
You forgot 2 guys...
Posted on: 2004-10-15 06:44:10   By: Anonymous
Rouge and Entliza

    Re: You forgot 2 guys...
    Posted on: 2004-10-15 11:03:42   By: Anonymous
    Eva and DoomMaster...?

No women?
Posted on: 2004-10-15 09:25:50   By: Anonymous
How about that abusive old hag anencephalic_crackpot? What interesting revelations could result from analyzing Ms (Mrs? Oh god!) Humphrey's obsession with one particular alcoholic yobbo who peddles broken hardware? What possessed her to get into the same line of business, despite her being even more abysmally incompetent in the field? Was it Mr Redhouse's winning "domestic violence" and "used auto dealer" personality? Is her psychological profile similar to that of women who write love letters to inmates guilty of violent and heinous crimes? What would happen if her dream came true and they ended up sharing the same mobile home (preferrably somewhere on the French riviera, just like in those revered Danielle Steele novels)? Would she sustain her addiction to wholesale white wine, or would she adapt that too to her object of admiration, and start puking cider and beer instead? Would Mr Redhouse be in physical danger?

The questions, the questions...

Posted on: 2004-10-15 09:44:58   By: Anonymous
Matt is one ugly sonofabiatch :D
But somehow I kinda love his hair.

No Subject
Posted on: 2004-10-15 12:14:40   By: Anonymous
Mat Sealy & smart just don't go together, sorry


More horror gallery
Posted on: 2004-10-15 15:49:17   By: Anonymous

    Re: More horror gallery
    Posted on: 2004-10-18 00:49:40   By: Anonymous
    Hu? I thought Halloween is still ahead?

Best drunker of 2004
Posted on: 2004-10-15 16:01:26   By: Anonymous
Mickey_C receiving drunk award www.inventorsforum.org/images/mikey_c.jpg

Is this joke getting old yet? No! Muahahaha!
Posted on: 2004-10-15 22:58:52   By: Anonymous


    This needs a second part!
    Posted on: 2004-10-16 01:56:25   By: Anonymous
    There are some others interesting subjetcts like:

    - oUNIVERSo (oGALAXYo). He received hardware for free, he says about doing things but mostly never releases things, he has several mental problems and due to this he never can stay all time in a project, thats why he leaves and back all time.

    - troll-o-phonic (timofonic, homophonic...). This guy has several obsessive mental problems, he hate to the other guy mentioned, oUNIVERSo, because he thinks that that guy lies all time. Also sometimes insults to the people all time, and people are afraid of him because his paranoid acts. He is drugged all time and in a forum named MZ, talks sometimes about port things, some rare news and not much more. He seems not be integrated into the society, maybe he killed his parents, rob to old people for have some money...
    - CISC (that strange person...).

    - DoomMaster (that military-grady obsessive person that thinks he is very inteligent and knows a lot about all).

    - Frieden Brothers (some people say that they are exact clones with linked brains, others says that they are the same guy but he moves too fast due to the high energy by eating special ice creams and amicola...).

      Re: This needs a second part!
      Posted on: 2004-10-16 01:58:25   By: Anonymous
      Forget to say that people normally ignores troll-o-phonic, but a few people dont...

      Re: This needs a second part!
      Posted on: 2004-10-16 12:11:07   By: Anonymous
        Edited By: admin
      On: 2004-10-25 00:13:09
      Try Cisc speaks: wrongpla.net/news/article117.html

        Re: This needs a second part!
        Posted on: 2004-10-17 06:13:11   By: Anonymous
        We have a lot of interesting subjects in the amita... errr... amiga community and blue-butterfly community...

        Vote for a second part! Not be afraid about your mental problems!!!

        Be mad, be different, be gay... use MorphOS!

          Re: This needs a second part!
          Posted on: 2004-10-18 23:10:06   By: Anonymous
          Eliza has got more in the pipeline.

            Re: This needs a second part!
            Posted on: 2004-11-20 12:44:29   By: Anonymous
            Has Mikey_C got anything in his pipeline? ;-)

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