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Morphos Customer Service Memorandum
by ashiq on 08/24/2005 11:36 PM
Now that your popular site is back and fresh we can publish this highly acclaimed article on the site it was written for to begin with, in its full glory!

Morphos Customer Service Memorandum

Please stop submitting complaints. This is our OS. We designed it, we built it, and we use it more than you do. If there are some features you think might be missing, if the OS isn't as effective as you think it could be, tough! Give it back, we don't need you. See figure 1.

See Figure 1, in other words stuff it!

Forget about your silly problem, let's take a look at some of the options of your Pegasos computer system running Morphos.


We've got lots of them. So many in fact, that you would need two strong people to carry around the documentation if we had bothered to write it. So many that even we don't know what most of them do. Don't ask us for any of these features, because we probably can't find the documentation for it anyway. Even if we find the documentation, we will not tell you. If you don't like it, write Matt. He'll tell you to see Figure 1.


If you need technical help, go to the freenode irc network, channel #morphos. You say that the guys there don't know any more than you do? And that the few who do idle or act like impossible elitists? Too bad. If we could afford to pay or bribe qualified people to answer questions we'd be paying them to make our OS work in the first place! Besides, you don't ever need to do anything sophisticated anyway. If you do, see Figure 1.

Integrated TCP stack

To quote our master "Morphos is not a network OS, use Linux for that", also see Figure 1. What the hell is an Integrated TCP stack? All it means is that you can go on a network or go online with Morphos, which would distract you from your real work. That's why we decided to keep our TCP Stack private, and it will remain that way. Besides you probably would be too dumb to configure a TCP stack anyways. If in doubt see Figure 1.

1000 mbit ethernet

See previous topic. Who needs 1000 mbit ethernet without a TCP stack? Even asking for that proves you're so dense you really should check Figure 1. 1000 mbit Ethernet on the Pegasos was a mistake anyways, Bplan had a few caps to spare, see Figure 1.

Applications Software

We gave you MorphED, what else do you want? So what if it is a clumsy badly written piece of sh!t, it works doesn't it? Well, OK, it sort of works. If you want applications software, get a PC with windoze, or a Mac. If you already bought one of our systems and are unsatisfied, you're stuck with it. We spoke with our applications software people about this, and they think a lot like we do, they said "see Figure 1."


We have two browsers, one we include for free(!) and one we use. The Voyager browser is plenty good for browsing simple webpages, which is all you do anyway, because you have no networking, punk. We use our private Mozilla port, which will remain private. Because you have no need for it without networking, now do you. Anyways, it has to remain private because we added some really special stuff to the Mozilla source which we really do not want to be forced to make public, as it is core Morphos technology. See Figure 1 to find out why this is a good thing.

Hardware 3d support

Repeat our mantra "There are no applications neither games for Morphos which need hardware 3d", so it is not needed. Also we will not release our private port of OpenGL. We do not have time for that as we have too much fun playing Quake3(private port). We like it a lot, yes. Our OpenGL port does everything it needs to do and then some. But as Figure 1 will explain, it is impossible to release publicly.


We have support for Altivec, one of the fastest vector units around. It's so special that you need a special compiler to use it. Nobody knows how to get you a copy of the compiler? That's right. We don't release it because we are writing another one. When it's ready, we might give it to you, but probably not. In the meantime, you have to stick with our quickly slapped together port of gcc2.95, live with the slowness, and see Figure 1.


We have lots of support people out there, but most of them are busy. If your system breaks, you will just have to wait. Our techs are rehashed community bums and other such scammers, so don't expect them to be very helpful, unless it involves bashing the other camp. If you need real support, see Figure 1.

In conclusion, stuff your complaint. Love your Morphos or leave it, but don't bitch to us. We don't give a sh!t. We don't have to. We are the Morphos Core Developers.
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The comments are owned by the poster. We are not responsible for its content.
3d acceleration
Posted on: 2005-08-28 14:33:59   By: Anonymous
YOU ARE LYING!! 3D Hardware drivers are public!! It just wasn't ready before ;)

    Re: 3d acceleration
    Posted on: 2005-08-28 19:24:37   By: Anonymous
    See figure 1.

the leetness
Posted on: 2005-09-05 01:02:04   By: Anonymous
uhm, interesting that they blackmail the community with pizza deliveries for releases. What comes next, a bunch of prostitutes for R.S.in exchange of the TCP/IP stack ?

    Re: the leetness
    Posted on: 2006-02-09 23:59:42   By: Anonymous
    ehehehehehehe ,finally a good fuc*ing Morphos manual :D

      Re: the leetness
      Posted on: 2006-11-10 20:52:29   By: Anonymous
      I'm guessing just a good fuc*ing would leave most Morphos users content :-P

        Re: the leetness
        Posted on: 2007-02-09 09:00:44   By: Anonymous
        AmigaOne customers all got *bleep*ed, they dont seem too content.

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