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OS4: Good News, Bad News
by hesdeadjim on 02/08/2004 08:56 PM
Petunia cancelled, replacement JIT on its way.

As we managed to wiretap a secret OS4 mailinglist - just for having some fun in the afterwork hours - we came across a rather exciting new development emerging from the event horizon on the outermost borders of OS4 direction.

Petunia is dead, Stinkmorchel lives.

While scanning through all the spam we came across an invitation notice to all members of the mailinglist to attend the christening of the new JIT - codenamed 'Stinkmorchel'.

Stinkmorchel (or Stinkhorn in common English) as it turned out is the new JIT that is meant to replace Petunia almost completely. Stinkmorchel is a so-called 'Retro-JIT'. This particular incarnation is tuned to 'jit' code to a level of a barebones 68000 CPU by Motorola running at a speed of 7.14MHz.

Of course we immediately decided to send out one of our reporters to visit the party to witness this unbelievable progressive advance from a simpler to a more complex form of the OS4's JIT.

"With screams and shouts, the victorious OS4 team has paraded its way into the secret OS4 underground laboratory, receiving high-fives and applause," our reporter relayed, having disguised himself as one of them. While eating canapés, snacks and banana cracknels and drinking like a retired alcoholic on the run, he was able to capture some of the comments from the rather private show.

One visitor was screaming for almost the entire length of the show "OMG!!! It is impressiveeeeeeeee, I don't believe it! Hyperion is a giant!". Another guest got so excited that umbrellas had to be handed out to shield the party from the fountain of drool being emitted, destroying the sensible high-tech equipment our reporter brought with him.

Stop bullshitting us!

"What a stinking mess petunia was," noted one guest after inspecting the source code that had been printed and put on a rack for public inspection. "This assembler and other stuff that went into it is disgusting, and the style is really awful." After this ill-timed statement the guy was immediately seized by the other visitors and then dragged to a set of stocks always present there for punishment.

After enjoying the unexpected bonus program our reporter quickly sneaked his way out of the underground plant to return to the safe and comfy place our offices provide.
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Comments
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Petunia cancelled, replacement JIT on its way.
Posted on: 2004-02-26 10:14:45   By: Anonymous
 
Now I see this clear, I have to reveal the secret behind the replacement of Petunia with Stinkmorchel in AOS4. The fact is: Piru convinced me at last. Petunia is a piece of crap.

I got a digital shredder and fed all the source codes. Then I prepared a MorphOS virus which is spreading along to prepare the DDOS attack agains the main CVS of AOS4 project. Punishment is on the way dudes!

Now I am planning to change my job to gardener. I realized that I wanted to be a gardener since my childhood. I hope my Apples won't perish by cold...

Sign off: Álmos "Gardener" Rajnai



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