Wrong Planet

Search Articles

Unrelated Links
>  Amiga.org
>  Amiga-News.de
>  AmigaWorld.net
>  ANN.lu
>  Microsoft.com
>  Moo Bunny
>  Morphos-News.de
>  MorphZone.org

Home > article

Supporting Positivity in the Amiga Community
by samuraijack on 03/05/2005 07:53 PM
WrongPlanet assists Amiga.org and AmigaWorld.net in banishing any criticism/negativity: the true cause of the Amiga's (and Amiga Inc's) problems.

Don't trust the blue one!!!
Positivity and Negavity battle for Amiga souls
It's now 2005, four years after the undertaking of the new AmigaOS was announced. The hardware is selling. The software is there (sort of). Brave companies like Eyetech, Hyperion and above all Amiga Inc. are queuing to put our happiness before their profits. With a powerful new G3 Amiga custom designed by Eyetech and an OS which has much more moral right to exist than Windows (or, spit, MorphOS), surely 2005 really will be the year of Amiga.

But, despite all this, and to the utter confusion of the true experts, overall AmigaONE sales stubbornly refuse to rise into quadruple figures. The tens of thousands of hits to Amiga sites whenever they're mentioned on Slashdot simply refuses to translate into tens of thousands of sales of the new Amiga. The games companies still seem to lose all the mails from desperate Amigans to get their favourite PC games ported. (Must be because they run crappy PCs, that are crap and lose mails and stuff.)

Something was holding the Amiga back, something. Bill Buck, obviously, but that goes without saying. It wasn't the hardware - it rules and is now totally bug free. It wasn't the OS - obviously it's the best AmigaOS ever, ever, especially with a non-crap GUI like ReAction and many 256 colour glowicons, and fully competitive in today's world. But there was something. In the time Buck spent in the community doing evil, greedy things like giving away free hardware to help developers, he managed to turn the minds of the weaker minded Amigans away from the Light. He created a negative movement - a kind of people who were once happy "68060 is better than any x86" True Amigans but are now horrible, twisted pro-PC or pro-Pegasos fanatics.

"These naysayers and wrongthinkers Buck bribed into saying negative things with his free hardware and large paychecks [sic] are the cause of the Amiga not becoming great again," said Wayne Hunt, good natured and well-informed webmaster of Amiga.org. "These trolls just need to STFU, and I mean STFU NOW. Ray Akey has been telling me everything I missed, and he's been very truthful so far. Even from outside the community Buck's influence still kills any chance Amiga Inc. might have of using the brand name to collect money for undelivered vouchers, and so damages the Amiga itself. GOD, I wish he'd just DIE, and all his other lackeys and pet trolls too."

AmigaWorld Moderator of the Year Mikey_C was also unsurprisingly keen on the initiative. "If you want to criticise, just don't come to our site (and we'll make sure of that, heh heh)... unless you're a member of Hyperion, but they're allowed to, because they're so great. We'll keep these anti-Amigan people from spreading their stupid Morphcrap Buck lies over and over again."

To prevent further moral downslide, the staff of both sites are spurring on True Amigans to fight back against the trolls. Amiga.org and AmigaWorld.net have collaborated in a new initiative to eliminate negativity and promote positivity. Criticism, especially if said more than once, is among one of the worse of the crimes, and Amiga.org is following AmigaWorld's brave approach in ostracising and banning anyone who criticises or is likely to. But more is required. Even among the faithful there are doubts, and these have to be stamped on if we're to have a chance replacing smelly PC's with great AmigaONEs in all the homes throughout the world.

A change in forum behaviour is necessary for this. Certain unpatriotic words and turns of phrase will be discouraged. Feel free to inform on anyone you catch saying these forbidden things, by using AmigaWorld's InformOnaFriend (TM) complaint system, or by sending a whiney private message to Wayne or Argo at Amiga.org.

Here are the new ground rules to keep a Positive Amiga Community:

Pegasos, MorphOS, AROS, and Amithlon are not to be mentioned, except to insult them feebly and ignorantly. According to a REAL lawyer, they are IP theft, and while Amiga Inc. builds its case against them they are to be ignored, or better still, vilified. Only AmigaOS 4 is the real AmigaOS (MorphOS was NEVER going to be OS4!), and only AmigaONE is the real Amiga, because they are licensed and have gone through Amiga Inc's thorough and professional quality testing labs. All attempts to discuss legality of ANYTHING are to be strongly criticised (by moderators of course), except where they come from members of Hyperion, Eyetech, or by registered A1 resellers. UAE is tolerated as long as it's Amiga Forever and Cloanto keep up with their payments, but none of this crap that it's faster than a real AmigaONE, ok?

Any loose talk about Articia or AmigaONE bugs is to be severely punished. It's tantamount to treason. You might as well be taking a dump on Jay Miner's grave, because it hurts Eyetech's sales and so hurts the Amiga. Remember the original Amiga design had bugs too. Okay, none as bad as lacking DMA cache coherency or not being able to use the networking and UDMA at the same time, or having the wrong capacitors in the USB, or even having non-working onboard sound; but the XE was an early hardware revision and anyway the bugs are fixable by paying for a fix plus postage both ways, or buying IDE and USB PCI cards. This is not something we believe any sensible person could complain about. Anyone who complains does not even own an AmigaONE and so can be considered an enemy of the Amiga.

Any trolling about voucher schemes is also to be treated severely. Amiga Inc. consider the delivery of the free gift T-shirts to be fully honouring both the voucher and Party Pack schemes, and so do we. This is ancient history and should be forgotten now the T-shirts have been sent. Anyone who claims they had $50 "stolen" because of "con tricks", "lies" and "cheating" is obviously a liar and didn't even buy the voucher. Remember, this money went to help Amiga Inc, and so helps the Amiga. It was freely given by all concerned as charity. Don't even let people discuss it. Give some excuse about being fed up of hearing it or something.

Do NOT visit Moobunny or ANN. These webmasters are in the pocket of Genesi and so make it their business to try to destroy anything beautiful or pure about the Amiga. We're sick of good, hard-spending Amigans being attacked by jeering moron trolls sponsored by Genesi in the unmoderated chaos there because they dare to suggest positive things like porting OpenOffice, Half Life 2 or even DirectX to OS4, or making a G5 Amiga. If you have to visit ANN or Moobunny, do so in support of noble Amiga supporters like MikeB. An anonymous proxy is strongly recommended, as MorphOS users are known to be hackers. We'd also suggest that you don't visit MorphZone, but the name alone is enough to be a warning. The webmaster will probably sell your email address and password to spammers or possibly even terrorists.

We don't want to hear lies about Hyperion abusing the GPL. GPL is communism anyway, and doesn't deserve to be defended. Rather than such Unix crapola, OS4 was based fully upon hardware-dependent, 68k-ASM-ridden AmigaOS sources. Any "AROS" bugs that turn up in OS4 are the result of desperate AROS "developers" reverse-engineering the professional real McCoy, OS4. MorphOS is practically verbatim stolen AmigaOS sourcecode with some hacky crap Ralph Schmidt code bolted on. It even runs on an alien kernel, and so is 0% Amiga compatible. It doesn't even have JIT.

Prices are not to be mentioned. The competition (if it wasn't totally illegal) is unfair anyway because Buck is stealing from the French state to sell Pegasos at a loss, and PCs are basically just cheap crap subsidised by morons who blindly follow Windows and drool over its software. Remember that true Amigas were always expensive. A G3 is easily as good as a 3 GHz Athlon 64, because the software is coded better. A G3 is also faster than any G4 because Hyperion say it runs their ported games faster. This assertion is not to be challenged in any way.

Remember, games manufacturers still remember the Amiga fondly and have just forgotten it for a while. Don't accept any negative whining that sending begging emails for ports is useless and counter-productive. Better still, when you buy PC games, please make sure you fill in the registration card as owning "AmigaONE", which will inform the manufacturers Amiga still exist and are just about ready to take that leap back into mega-stardom. As soon as Hyperion secure a license for a port, their technical magic and the superiority of OS4 will make it possible to run it on a G3 and an old Radeon in faster frame rates than PC lamers are used to.

Certain wording once common in the dregs of the community is to be changed to be more positive. Blue trolls have far too much vocabulary than is healthy, and often pick up on carelessly worded statements to shovel more of their verbal manure on the hated Amiga. For example, the word "reset" has negative connotations and should be replaced by "set" where OS4 is concerned. "Early beta" is to be replaced by "pre-release", since betas have bugs and mentioning bugs is negative too. Likewise, "broken hardware" is to be replaced by "prototype", and "late" by "When It's Done" (TM). Thread titles will also be actively modified to make any requests sound even more weak-kneed and sissy, and to make statements based on fact sound like the poster has no clue what he's talking about. Other alterations will be considered at the leisure of the moderator staff, usually without telling anyone until they get censored. Adding dancing bananas to your posts will also add a disarming quality, so you won't touch off one of the Friedens or Wayne by complete accident and end up getting banned. Adding lots of praise and drooling probably won't help on its own. Seriously, add those bananas.

And finally, remember this: positivity makes up for any amount of stupidity or incompetence. Don't let ancient history tell you it doesn't. Article Manager module by by George! Software.

The comments are owned by the poster. We are not responsible for its content.
No Subject
Posted on: 2005-03-07 17:39:38   By: Anonymous
I wanna cry

Posted on: 2005-03-08 12:46:22   By: Anonymous
> nice story which mirrors the truth quite well.

Well, at least partially!

"noble Amiga supporters like MikeB"

:-X ;-)


    Re: Re:
    Posted on: 2005-03-08 17:13:47   By: Anonymous
    Test 1...2...3

No Subject
Posted on: 2005-03-08 18:26:09   By: Anonymous
2005 will be the year of the amiga!!!!!!!111111

    Best ann.lu post of 2005
    Posted on: 2005-03-10 14:22:58   By: Anonymous


      Re: Best ann.lu post of 2005
      Posted on: 2005-03-11 07:21:28   By: Anonymous
      seehund iS da maN!

      Re: Best ann.lu post of 2005
      Posted on: 2005-03-13 05:10:36   By: Anonymous
      Seehund for WP writer!

        Re: Best ann.lu post of 2005
        Posted on: 2005-03-13 13:32:40   By: samuraijack
        You're assuming he's not?

The only "True" solution
Posted on: 2005-03-17 06:28:10   By: Anonymous

    Re: The only "True" solution
    Posted on: 2005-03-26 02:50:23   By: Anonymous

What's Related
These might interest you as well
Article Manager

Petition of the Moment
#65465 Petition to hammer Squaresoft to release an updated version of Mozilla in this century