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The news in short
| by samuraijack on 04/01/2005 12:00 AM |
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2005 really does prove to be the year of the Amiga (!!!) as all the loose ends finally make good this April. WrongPlanet brings you a roundup of these exceptional happenings.
This April sees the end to all the strife in the Amiga community as it all comes together and everyone becomes friends again. WrongPlanet celebrates this momentous occasion by summarising the exceptional news. Big time here we come!
Harald Frank admits "Okay Bernie, it was mostly your work."
Computer business tycoon makes it up to Bernd Meyer and promises that Amithlon will hit big store chains worldwide by May.
Steffen Häusser buys new jacket
Hyperion's most talented coder stuns the community, building on last week's shock revelation that he had released a working port with sound.
SharkPPC is now on sale
Elbox finally are shipping their long awaited SharkPPC board, fully licensed and bundled with OS4. Elbox are quoted saying that "Amiga Inc's license was so cheap, we couldn't believe it."
Amiga port of Internet Explorer announced
Forget Linux ports, Microsoft have announced on their website that the number of begging letters for their flagship browser has finally forced them to port it to AmigaOS 4.
Community member Kjetil receives honorary literacy degree from Oxford
Well, if Buck can get an award for integrity, why not?
Hyperion license Pegasos, snub Eyetech
Hyperion finally decide that enough is enough with Eyetech's scandal-stricken Mai technology, lowering the price of using OS4 and dispelling all hardware problems of the official Amiga boards, and bringing back Amigans in their droves.
Cheques arrive for ex-Amiga Inc. employees
Some months after finally delivering the T-shirts, Amiga Inc. make good on their promises by doing the same for their old employees owed money. Garry Hare commented, "With the money we're making from phenomenal sales of AmigaAnywhere (TM) on cell phones, not only have we been able to settle our bills but we've taken over active funding of OS4 and AmigaONE."
Eyetech move on to pastures new
After almost two decades supplying hardware to wealthy Amigans, Eyetech have finally decided to leave the Amiga. Alan Redhouse announced that they would be moving to the supply of scientific research teams, including material support of an important project which seeks to determine the percentage of people who look at the toilet paper after wiping.
David Gerber rejoins MorphOS team
David woke up this morning to a large cheque, courtesy of Genesi, and has restored MorphOS.net to its proper glory. "I promise to earn this cash by improving Ambient and finally adding cut and paste to V3," he told us. All others Genesi were alleged to owe money to have also been paid, with the exceptions of Wayne Hunt and Jens Schönfeld, who were told to "get screwed". How we laughed.
Fleecy bares his soul: "I made most of that shit up."
The Amiga community's most prominent prestidigitator since EyeAm admits that absolutely nothing he promised had any real chance. "I could have launched a fleet of hot air balloons with just one article," admits a soulful Fleecy.
Redrumloa becomes new Genesi CTO
Amiga user and small sales entrepreneur Redrumloa has become Genesi CTO, according to well-informed sources within Hyperion. "Wow, I didn't even know I worked for Genesi," he said to us. "It might explain why I haven't been paid!"
MooBunny to be revamped
John Shephard has finally decided to dedicate the majority of his site to modern art and the study of interpretive dance in the site's biggest shakeup ever. The new title page welcome visitors with the short poem: "I smell your happiness/you are one with my cheese."
Slashdot users flock to buy the G5 Amiga in droves
The G5 Amiga project gets off the ground as thousands of wealthy technogeeks put up the cash to get themselves powerful Amiga hardware. "We never liked Linux anyway, it was crashy," said one poster.
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oGALAXYo talks about the damaged amiga platform
Posted on: 2005-04-01 00:22:46
By: Anonymous
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I STIL DONT UNDARSTAND Y I GOT BAN3D FROM BOTH #MORPHOS IRC
CHANELS ONA TIEM ON ARCNET AND DA OTHER ON FRENODA!!!11!11 OMG WTF TREATNG ME LIEK SOM3 ASHOL3 FOR WUT PARTICULAR R3ASON ??!!????? OMG I LECHED WUT ZAEPK OF3R3D AS 3V3RYONA ELSE BY NOW PROBABLY HAS AND BRUNED TEH STUF ON DVD AS
EV3RYON3 ELS3 BY NOW PROBABLY HAS!11! WTF LOL AL U P3OPLA R ABLE 2 DO IS TREATNG OTH3RS11!11!11 OMG ITS SOME SORT OF FOLKS SPORT IN TEH MIGA COMUNITY 2 *bleep* EACH OTHER1!!!11! OMG LOL TEH ON3 TRYNG 2 *bleep* TEH OTHER AVAN HARD3R FOR WUT PARTICULAR REASON ACTUALY A?!???!? LOL LOT OF U EXPERTS MAEK IT QUIET 3ASY ACTUALY!!!!! OMG LOL SITNG AT HOME BASHNG P3OPLE FOR TEH SAEK OF IT B/C THEYRE IS NO OTHAR HOBY U111!!!1 OMG LOL WASTNG PAOPL3S TIEM SPR3AD WRONG CRAP AROUND FROM PLAEC A 2 B 3V3RYON3 PLAYS HIMSELF UP LIEK HE WAS TEH BORN JUDGE OR LAWYER11!!!11! LOL NOT EV3N THINKNG WHATH3R IT CAN HURT TEH PEOPLA OR NOT1!!1111! WTF LOL NO U 3VEN CONTINUE DOUBLE HARD AFT3RWARDS B/C FOR TEH SAEK OF IT1111! THIS HAS RILLY 2 DO WIT DA MIGA P3G A1 OS4 AROS MOS AND SO ON1!!!!11 THIS IS ABOUT PEOPLA WHO R STUK IN AN IDIOCITY TIEM BLEIVNG DA ENTIER WORLD IS SHOWNG DOWN 2 THAM ASUMNG THEY SIT ON A THRONA AND DO HAEV L3T SKILS!11!!! WTF I SHUDNT B PISED ??!?!?! OMG LOL Y NOT ??!??!?? LOL I HAEV AL RIGHTS 2 B 2TALY PISED OF B/C I RILLY DONT UNDERSTAND WUT GONG ON!!1!!! OMG LOL PAOPLE TR3ATNG ME LIEK SOME ASHOLE PEOPL3 PISED ABOUT ME B/C I RECEIEVD A FRE PAG 3V3N!11111 WTF NOWADAYS PEOPL3 SHOVE DA SME STUF UNDER MAH NOSE STUF WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THEYRE FREAKNG BUSIENS1!!1!1 LOL I ACTUALY WONT R MUCH BUT DA HATRADFUL PAOPLA AROUND MIGA MAEK A LITL3 THNG BCOME A HUG3 M3S11!11!1! LOL DA MIGA COMUNITY DOESNT RILLY WANT PAOPLE 2 H3LP BCOME IT BT3R THEY DONT AV3N LIEK AL DA OS CRAP SHOWNG UP ON IT B/C FEL ITS LIEK SOM3 VIRUS ADES OR HAPATITIS TAHT INFACTS THERE!1!!!! WTF LOL THEY 3V3N FAAR 2 LOS3 THERE L3T STATUS IF OTH3R PEOPLE COMA BAK!!!1!11 OMG LOL WHEN I CM3 FROM LINUX 2 MORPHOS I INITIALY THOUGHT TAHT TEH P3OPL3 AROUND MIGA FINALY GOT SOM3 H3ADS AND MANAEGD 2 SURVIEV THE STAGNATION!!!11 OMG WTF I INITIALY WAS QUIET IMPR3SED BY IT!!!!!1!! LOL COL HARDWAER GOD OS WUT 3LSE DO U PAOPLA WANT ?!!?!!?!! LOL O WATE.!!!!!1!!111!!!1!1!1! WTF A BTER US3RBAES WONT HURT!11!11!1 LOL I WAS SITNG H3R3 WORKNG MAH TALE OF AT TEH BGINNG UNTIL SOM3 MONKEYH3ADS STARTAD WIT AL TEH INSULTNG CRAP (ITS LIEK SOME SORT OF CONSPIRACY GONG ON)!1111! OMG WTF LOL LOKS LIEK ITS NOT ENOUGH *bleep*NG DA 3XISTNG AUDEINC3 AND FORMER PEOPLE11!!11! NO TEH NU ON3S NED 2 B TREAETN3D TH3 SM3 WAY11!!!11 OMG LOL WHO ACTUALY WANTS 2 D3VALOP FOR SUCH AN AUDEINCA ????!??! WTF LOL N3V3R SATISFEID PEOPL3 AND SO ON1!1!1 LOL SME WIT LOUIES WHO C3RTANELY WORKAD HIS AS OF WIT MORPHOS RELEAESS R3P3ADLY REPEAETD BY P3OPLA TAHT HIS PORTS WERE AL CRAP11111!1 INST3AD H3LPNG HIM SENDNG HIM PATCH3S P3OPL3 ONLY REPEAT CRAP1!!!111 WTF LUK3LY I HAEV TEH POSIBILITY 2 FEL MYS3LF HOM3 ON LINUX AS W3L AS I DO ON TEH MIGA!111 OMG MOST OF U PAOPLE ONLY FEL HOMA ON TEH MIGA WHICH IS OF COURSA GOD!!1! BUT ITS UR OWN WORLD IF UR PRIED AND ALITISM WIL G3T U NU R AND IF U THINK TAHT BY TR3ATNG OTHERS LIEK *bleep* WIL AXACTLY GAT U THEYRE THAN B FIEN!!!1 OMG I FOR MAH OWN DONT BLEIVA TAHT THIS WIL AXACTLY GIEV U WUT U P3OPLA 3XPECT!1!!1111 WTF LOL AS ILKA RIGHTLY SADE ONE DAY!!!1!1 OMG LOL U R STUK WIT 1 CODER ON 100 PROJECTS WHIEL ON OTHER SYST3MS U HAEV 100 CODAR ON 1 PROJ3CT!11111 LOL I DONT WANT 2 JUSTIFY MYSALF NOR DO I WANT 2 SOUND LIEK A MESIAH OR WUT!!!!! WTF I CAN ONLY HOPA TAHT ONA TIEM IN UR LIEF SOME OF U START USNG DA BAL OVER UR NEK FOR THINKNG!1!!!!! WTF LOL GO ON I BT TEH N3XT ONA 2 SLANDER ISNT FAR AWAY11!!! WTF LOL MAYB ONA OF U PEOPLE WHO RAGULARY PIS OTH3RS OF START A PROJ3CT ON UR OWN THAN U SE IT HOW IT IS WH3N PEOPLA START PULNG AL SH!T 2WARDS U B/C OF AXPECTATIONS!1!!! OMG WTF LOL
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Re: oGALAXYo talks about the damaged amiga platform
Posted on: 2005-04-01 00:44:04
By: Anonymous
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oGALAXYo leaves the amiga community finally
Too good to be true.
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Re: oGALAXYo talks about the damaged amiga platform
Posted on: 2005-04-01 08:31:28
By: Anonymous
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oGALAXYo drops computers and starts attacking stamp collectors for beeing elitist and not sharing lgplstamps.
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Re: oGALAXYo talks about the damaged amiga platform
Posted on: 2005-04-01 13:00:52
By: Anonymous
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oGALAXYo joins the internet flashlight community and immediately upsets them all by telling them that "flashlights are crap" and that they should carry glow worms.
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No Subject
Posted on: 2005-04-01 01:05:26
By: Anonymous
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Amiga bought out by Microsoft
Amiga Inc. has finally been bought out by Microsoft. The announcement, made April 1, will mean the end of the Amiga platform as it will be consolidated into Microsoft as a entertainment arm, hosting C# games and chat on Microsoft based PDAs.
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Re:
Posted on: 2005-04-01 01:12:47
By: Anonymous
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2005 will be the year of the amiga!!!!!!111
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Re:
Posted on: 2005-04-03 17:50:44
By: Anonymous
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Amiga bought out by timofonic
Amiga Inc. has finally been bought out by timofonic, the evil blue troll that is anywhere (like god). The announcement, made April 1, was mean the end of the Amiga platform as it (full of FUD and crap *bleep*) will be consolidated into as a entertainment arm, producing lesbian porn movies and sex toys.
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Re: Re:
Posted on: 2005-04-04 05:18:55
By: Anonymous
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oGALAXYo still trolling?
- GNOME Foundation
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LOL
Posted on: 2005-04-04 05:12:53
By: Anonymous
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Having AmigaOne and the possibility to run a dual-OS system as LinuxPPC and AmigaOS 4, you get the most powerful, flexible computer platform in the whole universe! Most programs that are to be/have been ported to AmigaOS 4, actually come from Linux! Think about that...
Helgis' A1G4XE@1.3Ghz Pre-OS4.0 Upd.3 (May)
- ATI Radeon 9800 w/256MB DDR SDRAM (June)
- Sii3114 S-ATA RAID PCI-controller (May)
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Re: LOL
Posted on: 2005-04-04 18:36:53
By: Anonymous
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LOL, kid, stop using drugs, affect your brain too much, converting you into a retard...
Linux users converted into OS4 users? Who said you that, Fleecy, some AW.net administrator/moderator?
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Re: LOL
Posted on: 2005-04-04 18:43:36
By: Anonymous
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Having Pegasos II and the possibility to run a dual-OS system as LinuxPPC, MorphOS, OpenBSD and some others in the future, you get the most powerful, flexible computer platform in the whole universe! Most programs that are to be/have been ported to MorphOS, actually come from Amiga and Linux! The better amiga programmers are doing stuff for MorphOS! Think about that...
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Re: LOL
Posted on: 2005-04-05 14:24:54
By: Anonymous
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Of course Helgis isn't frustrated with the progress of OS4. He's never tried it. He keeps blowing up his A1s before it gets installed.
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if only
Posted on: 2005-04-20 00:03:30
By: Anonymous
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"Timofonic slices off own head with corned beef tin."
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Re: if only
Posted on: 2005-04-20 18:02:59
By: Anonymous
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oHAHAHAo
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