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Exclusive: The real enemy of the Amiga is found!
| by samuraijack on 05/31/2005 09:35 PM |
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A terrorist group who misname themselves 'AmigaZeux' have written to us claiming responsibility for guerilla marketing and hacking to destroy the Amiga.
..EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE...
May 31st, 2005 in Amigaland, and an infamous clique of fanatics known only as 'AmigaZeux' have written to us claiming responsibility for a series of attacks designed to damage any chance of the Amiga becoming great again.
First stage in their attack seems to have been to standardise a logo for their members to wear in forums. This logo has rapidly gained the same reputation as the Swastika - a symbol of pure evil.
"I'm sick of this tiny clique of rabid pro-MorphOS fanatics using my site for free advertising and guerilla marketing of Pegasos," said Wayne Hunt, mentally balanced webmaster of Amiga.org. "That and trolling by negativity, which is obviously a personal attack on me and therefore the whole Amiga community. Every time my site gets screwed up, and it does a lot, these people are around. Logically, they're guilty."
He wasn't alone in his condemnation. "The AmigaZeux avatar flood made us close our website, we couldn't stand the traffic anymore," said DaveyD, ex-webmaster of Amigaworld.net now searching for a job. "The day that AmigaZeux was formed should be written in blood on every calendar made from now on."
On closer examination of these avatars we discovered even more chilling evidence of the subliminal messaging carried out by these marketing guerillas. On exposure to UV light the artistic symbol disappeared and was replaced by the shocking image of a small child with a gun to its head, with the slogan, "BUY PEGASOS OR WE KILL YOUR CHILDREN." Some avatars even showed adult male genitals.
We managed to secure a shock interview by one of the group's masterminds, a man known only as 'XraalE'. What he was to tell us chilled us to the very bone.
AmigaZeux take down ANN.lu
"We've taken down five Red sites this week already," said XraalE over a secure satellite link. "This terror will continue until there are no sites but MorphOS, Amithlon, AmigaXL, UAE, Classic Amiga and AROS sites left.
"Unfortunately we also harmed MorphZone because of a wrongly marked target. Call it collateral damage. This was what caused MorphZone's erratic uptime ranging from a couple of hours to serveral days over a period of several months.
"We are very sorry for these friendly-fire incidents (blue on blue, hehe)," said XraalE, "but Genesi delivered French keyboards with our free bribe Pegasos systems and these weren't easy to use, and made us attack the wrong sites occasionally."
Then, a stunning revelation. XraalE leant back and re-adjusted the shoulder strap on his Kalashnikov, stroked his white cat, and through the AZ-marked balaclava he cleared his throat in a way that made even this hardened criminal sound like he was ashamed of himself.
"On the 28th May, 2005, We took down Amiga news site ANN.lu with an IP-spoofing attack," said XraalE, his eyes glinting like steel in the darkness. "Christian Kemp is with us now. Any attempt to bring ANN back up will result in great harm being done to him.
"We intend this fate for all webmasters of Amiga sites. Our attempt to abduct Wayne Hunt failed, since the forklift broke down. But we did manage to destroy the google advertising banner system and so did great harm to that site and the Amiga. No longer will happy PC users be able to find the superior Amiga software and hardware on the internet and choose to switch." He laughed maniacally. "Amiga is doomed!"
"This is your f*cking fault, Decanini."
Who are AmigaZeux?
A taste of things to come
We at WrongPlanet did some research into this group. We found some interesting facts. Although they have 'Amiga' in their name, they have in fact nothing to do with the Amiga and are in fact attached to the infamous Genesi FUD staffel, an organisation itself dedicated to terrorism of the internet community. Both groups exist to sell - by force and extortion if necessary - Pegasos II boards which are known to be too crap to market through ordinary channels, and definitely inferior to True Amiga (TM) hardware.
The Genesi FUD staffel have a page best known to internet hackers, pirates, thieves, and other scum, where they present bounties for commiting acts of Anti-Amiga terrorism.
Remember - 'Amiga Zeux' is just a codeword for 'spread death and mayhem to the Amiga and its important people'. We'll keep you updated.
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| Comments |
| The comments are owned by the poster. We are not responsible for its content.
the wayne
Posted on: 2005-06-01 04:47:33
By: Anonymous
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OMG!! C00l sHiit :=)
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Re: the wayne
Posted on: 2005-06-01 09:48:15
By: Anonymous
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wonder why people find such crap funny...
badly written and missquoting.
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Re: the wayne
Posted on: 2005-06-01 14:56:20
By: Anonymous
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Hail AmigaZeux!
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Re: the wayne
Posted on: 2005-06-01 16:07:15
By: Anonymous
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maybe you don't know the background you moron
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Re: the wayne
Posted on: 2005-06-01 17:31:09
By: Anonymous
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LOL
Still think he was being misquoted?
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Re: the wayne
Posted on: 2005-06-01 22:40:05
By: Anonymous
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Amiga(TM)Zeux will rule the world!!!!!!1111
Wayne Hunt sucks
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take your fictitious 10000 USD, you amiga inc fanatic
Posted on: 2005-06-01 23:08:39
By: Anonymous
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amigainc.org will be the next amigaincworld.net thanks to Wayne Žex-genesi employee and ex-blue trollŽ Hunt.
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Re: take your fictitious 10000 USD, you amiga inc fanatic
Posted on: 2005-06-02 00:02:26
By: Anonymous
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And he was the biggest guerilla marketeer EVER.
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Re: take your fictitious 10000 USD, you amiga inc fanatic
Posted on: 2005-06-02 04:09:18
By: Anonymous
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RedWayne is the next version of the BlueWayne, it's a total rewrite of the hypocrisy generator. It's brand new from the ground up, rewritten for the Teron hardware. And it's bloody fast. It's currently in beta testing at 20 external sites, and it's just about ready to go – in three more weeks. The components are ready, we just have to plug them together and go.
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No Subject
Posted on: 2005-06-02 13:25:17
By: Anonymous
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That was actually funny.
Wiffy.
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No Subject
Posted on: 2005-06-02 14:59:36
By: Anonymous
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Funny :o)
Wayne otoh is a traitor and a hypocrite. One minute he is up Bucks brown ring then he is up Hares brown ring, make your mind up H(C)unt.
So the world may know
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...
Posted on: 2005-06-02 15:59:16
By: Anonymous
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Thanks for the honesty and openess 'Amiga sucks' team! ;-)
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Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted on: 2005-06-03 01:42:57
By: Anonymous
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Diagnosis Criteria Of Wayne Hunt
1. suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are trolling, harming the Amiga(TM), or spamming amiga.org with evil avatars
2. is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of the amigaworld.net moderators
3. is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him on moobunny.org or wrongpla.net
4. persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of trolling, treasons, or paranoid behaviour
5. perceives IP-spoofing attacks on his google advertising banner system that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
6. has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of Garry Hare
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Re: Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted on: 2005-06-03 02:59:59
By: Anonymous
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DO
FONT COLOR = BLUE
PRINTF ("Hello, my name is Wayne Hunt and I'm blue")
WAIT MONTH[11]
FONT COLOR = RED
PRINTF ("Hello, my name is Wayne Hunt and I'm red")
WAIT MONTH[11]
LOOP
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No Subject
Posted on: 2005-06-04 15:00:53
By: Anonymous
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AmigaZeuxx suxx!
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Re:
Posted on: 2005-06-05 00:27:57
By: Anonymous
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Sure, but not for the kind of cash *you* can put up, kid.
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OWWWW
Posted on: 2005-06-10 07:53:48
By: Anonymous
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OW. The friendly fire has got to stop. My IRC port is still hurting. Jeez.
-Targhan
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No Subject
Posted on: 2005-06-10 13:49:27
By: Anonymous
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XraalE wrote:
Wayne has just lost it, completely and totally. He sees Buck everywhere. Everyone is his agent, members of a "clique" who set out to destroy him. Guerilla marketeers to sell Pegasos. Everything bad that happens is Buck. BAFs often suffer from this delusion too, but Wayne has taken it to the utter extremes. His personality has slipped into borderline paranoia. He has alienated himself from all his personal friends and is well on the way to a SERIOUS mental illness.
http://www.flyingmice.com/cgi-bin/squidcgi/mbthread.pl/amiga/expand/114896
:)
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Re:
Posted on: 2006-11-02 19:11:15
By: Anonymous
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This thread has a bitter KennyR written all over it!!!!
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