Re-vo-lu-tio-na-ry technology developed for OS4
|by hesdeadjim on 12/03/2003 11:38 PM
Re-vo-lu-tio-na-ry technology developed for OS4 - the BugBlurringBlobber (TM).
AmigaOS4 - newest and most 'legal' of the modern AmigaOS clones, developed in a big hurry by Hyperion Entertainment after Amiga Inc. sadly had to drop their own 99.9% complete version. OS4 might just well be the most anticipated piece of Amiga software since the rapturous release of Foto Foto.
With OS4's development hurried on by legions of impatient zealots and Amiga Inc's crippling legal debts, however, it is inevitable that it may have a lot of bugs, or as Mr. Hermans calls them, 'features'. Nonetheless, Hyperion are confident they have a solution to this irksome problem.
"With this new and exciting technology called 'Server V', developed in-house by our very own Steffen Häuser, we were able to switch from late-alpha/early-beta to a full blown pre-Release in no time," explained Ben Hermans, legal professional and deposed CEO of Hyperion Entertainment.
Sources close to Hyperions Staff, who are implementing the top secret technology - not meant for the public and only talked about in dark, lightless rooms several hundred meters below the surface - leaked the information that seems to be extremely promising and almost GREAT!!! It is said that it directly interacts with the brain by emitting subliminal messages via the so-called and newly developed 'OS4 dongle'. This, when activated by special activation codes, can make the user start drooling basically over everything, depending on the level of intensity set by the OS.
So when for example a user encounters a bug, the OS detects the users increased nervous activity by measuring mouse movements and then lets the user think that this was a quite cool effect. And so they can defend the most obvious and pathetic of bugs oblivious to any concerns of reason.
It also works for other stuff like reading ordinary, everyday forum postings. The user then simply is forced to start writing things like "trolling!!!" or in a more positive way start uncontrollably drooling resulting in things like "GREAT!!!" "WOW!!!", "I agree!!! [200x smiley gifanim attack]" or simply "OS4 beta sooooooooooooooooon"
However, the above mentioned informations are more or less just rumours and we are desperately waiting at the beach for a message in a bottle from our correspondent in Belgium to obtain further information of how this new technology works and how it is applied.
We are hoping to get it as soon as possible to leave this disgusting and perverted place where we are drinking [an iced drink of distilled liquor mixed with flavoring ingredients] and staring at well equipped subjects from the opposite sex.
We'll keep you updated.
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