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One year (and a bit) of WrongPlanet!
by samuraijack on 10/17/2004 08:20 PM
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
Ever since we ecloded onto the Amiga community's consciousness like a wet towel smacking a soft, pink arse, our effect on the minds of Amiga community members has been profound. We present our collection of quotes of things people said about WrongPlanet.

The Amiga community had this to say (continued, page 4):

"The amount of half-conjectural, half-invented, utter tripe some people spout out as God's truth is quite amazing. And I should know."
-- Rose "Anarchic Teapot" Humphrey, AmigaONE distributer and AmigaWorld "special business interest" moderator (shudder).

"The Chinese didn't understand a single word of the articles I'd recommended. Probably Buck has contacted them in advance and told them I spoke Portuguese, to try to ruin my business."
-- Alan Redhouse, exclusive owner of the AmigaOne(TM) trademark to rebadge Teron evaluation boards, and Amiga Inc plaything.

"This site looks crap on this port of Mozilla I made for MOS. But it's only for my friends anyway so it doesn't matter."
-- Mark "bigfoot" Olsen, MorphOS core developer and ultraelitist.

-- Sigbjřrn "CISC" Skjćret, MorphOS core developer.

"WrongPlanet? I stopped reading it to have more time to play DOOM 3!"
-- David "Zapek" Gerber, MorphOS core developer (sometimes).

"Lol, f**k WrongPlanet in the ass and cum on their ugly face."
-- ANN.lu Open Proxy Anonymous Guy, possibly a homosexual in denial, but probably some red troll who tries to sound respectable in public but trolls anonymously.

"It's good, and we should have a song for it. But first we need a good techno dance group. Keep the momentum going! Want to buy my sausages?"
-- Petro Tyschenko, overrated guy who tried really hard to support the Amiga through cheesy merchandising.

"WrongPlanet is like a big howitzer trying to blow down our Amiga wall of union brick by brick. We have to stand together against this attack, united we stand, divided we fall. We can't let this evil beat us, we have to fight it like white blood cells fight against the Black Plague, and we can stand victorious and wave our flag of victory in the air, victorious until the end of time."
-- Darrin, AmigaWorld regular and talented melodramatist.

"Buck lied about everything. There are NO bugs in the AmigaONE, and OS4 is on schedule. Spreading these rumours only makes MorphOS look bad and stops sales of Pegasos and MorphOS!"
-- Kurt "kgrach" Grach, AmigaWorld regular and military red troll.

-- Kevin Hissel, hissyfit merchant and ex-webmaster of the Amiga Web Directory.

"You must all be Ares, so much anger and hate. When my own 64 bit OS is out, we can forget you hate-filled types and move on to a much more peaceful community. WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAKE SOME VALIUM!!?! I KILL YOU!!!"
-- EyeAm, hissyfit merchant and astrologer extraordinaire.

"BBRV writes all these stories, so what can you expect? Cheers"
-- Amon_Re, somewhat uninformed ANN.lu regular.

"You can practically feel the wafts of saliva-humidified air from a thousand trembling lips when there is a new post of witticisms."
-- Seehund, Amiga forum regular and crusader for an open PPC platform, and blunt criticiser of the dumb (also known as a blue troll amongst the aforementioned dumb).

-- Bernard Hautbergue, some explosive guy on a mailing list with the social graces of a rutting rhino with a heavy head cold.

-- Adam "AdmV" Vorlon, Moobunny regular.

"I don't know how you put up with this site in underpowered 68k and PPC systems. x86 is much more value for money and you'd be able to write stories faster with a nice 3 GHz Athlon system purchased for just a few hundred pounds. Stop spreading this PPC propaganda."
-- Bill "bhogget" Hogget, Amiga forum regular and pro-PC troll.

"I see stars...and light...oh, it's wonderful. Come on our UFO and feel enlightened like us too, and enter a different spirit plane where you give up earthly things like this site and going to the toilet and just eat light, like the angels. This is the age of Aquarius!"
-- Sam Jordan, original author of WarpOS and now scary neocultist weirdo.

"Look, it's not my fault this site exists, don't blame me, I couldn't change it if I wanted to. It's just the way it is. Polyhead, not the umbrella stand! Not the face! ARGH! NO!"
-- John Shepard, Moobunny webmaster and serious passive aggressive.

"Anyone help me with downloading internet?"
-- AmigaUFO, nice but a somewhat clueless Amiga IRC guy.

"Note that the 'Athlons used in Aluminum smelting' article was inaccurate. Note that, aluminum melts at 1221 F. Note that, the new Athlon K9-64 runs at 1200 F, and has insufficient core temperature to change the state of the aluminum. Note that, Intel plan to do this with copper instead in the next OMFG7337WTF4URAF4G line of processors (linked PDF)."
-- Hammer, note that he is an Amiga forum regular with a head like a stack of hardware manuals.

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The comments are owned by the poster. We are not responsible for its content.
You know you want it :)
Posted on: 2004-10-23 21:41:28   By: Anonymous
  Edited By: samuraijack
On: 2004-10-23 21:48:35


Lbh xabj lbh jnag vg :)
Posted on: 2004-10-23 21:53:15   By: Anonymous

    Re: Lbh xabj lbh jnag vg :)
    Posted on: 2004-10-24 07:54:57   By: Anonymous
      Edited By: admin
    On: 2004-10-24 16:07:31
    B U T T E R

Atlantis is in advance development stage
Posted on: 2004-10-24 08:00:36   By: Anonymous
I'm developing Atlantis for MorphOS, khtml is nearly ported and Atlantis is practically done. I will release the next week the executables and source codes of this. Please stop blaming me, I'm doing this for free.


Posted on: 2004-10-24 08:45:12   By: Anonymous
The number one indication that you are an Amiga information junkie is... - you do know all these guys! =:-O

Well done, nice community portrait and contemporary document!


It's funny because it's true. And so horribly sad.
Posted on: 2004-10-24 10:07:17   By: Anonymous
Why did you have to mention me? Now I can't simply post a link to this brilliantly summarising article whenever someone asks about the state of everything Amiga today, without looking like a self-aggrandising, schizoid twit! And I wouldn't want to deprive a Dutch physiotherapist, or "medical professional", or "community representative", or Hanna Barbera cartoon character, or "poor innocent Iranian student girl", or "journalist", or hobbyist, or whatever he poses as today, of his job. :)

We wait and think that we are biding our time
We keep silence, we believe in your strength
We trust in propaganda of the wonders of tomorrow
In the shadow of content we are victims in the end

We dance to the sound of sirens
And we [troll anonymously on ANN] to relax
We dance to the sound of sirens
We are the heroes of self deception

I didn't know that Covenant were registered [whoeverownsanabusedtrademarktoday]world.net members...


best article ever!!!!111
Posted on: 2004-10-24 13:23:16   By: Anonymous
Just excellent

    Re: best article ever!!!!111
    Posted on: 2004-10-24 15:44:29   By: Anonymous
    Oh Wrongpla.net, you can put a trojan on my hard drive any time!

Amiga Unveils New MicroA1 To Satisfy Amiga "Lovers"
Posted on: 2004-10-24 16:13:03   By: Anonymous
By U. Boot Pooh

Trouser Splitting Fun!

PETERBOROUG- At the Big Bash 2, Darren "Ryu" Glenn, unveiled the new µA1-C to satisfy the needs of Amiga "lovers" everywhere.

"Yet again, Amiga is breaking new ground in personal computer design," said big Sir John Boobson, "For so long people have come up to me and said, 'Booby, when is there going to be an Amiga that I can have sex with.'  That time is now."  In addition to the µA1-C,  Ryu also said Amiga spokesman Mike Bouma has promised that Amiga will be releasing the µbiA1. (?!)

The µbiA1, based on female and male anatomy, comes with both "iHole" technology and "iPole" technology so Amiga fans can have fun everywhere - or rather Amiga Everywhere! Boing! BOING! :-D The µbiA1, also known as the "Pole and Hole" by Amiga engineers, combines both technologies to produce - Trouser splitting fun!!!

"We really focussed on ergonomics when designing these systems.  With the 17 degree tilt of the computers, these should be comfortable for users of all shapes and sizes," said bombastic Bouma.  "We also realized that users may be uncomfortable having their private parts near such high voltages, so safety was also a top priority. I should know as I am a registered physical therapist and handle many different tilts like this every day."

The new µbiA1 really created quite a buzz around the BB2 exhibition hall.  "Ever since the Amiga A500 I've  been waiting for this day," said long time Amiga user Micky "sicky" Sutton (rumored to be on a boat with Bouma testing out the new µbiA1 instaed of attending BB2), "I can't wait to get my hands on the µbiA1 and show it some sweet loving."  One female attendee, who wished to remain anonymous, said, "I tried it out and my husband will be getting the divorce papers on Wednesday."

The entire A1 Family is disabled by the Mai Articia northbridge. The rumor is even the  µbiA1 (also available in extended versions) is hampered by premature file ejaculation...

All in all Big Bash 2 was a very enjoyable event even though attendance was down on the previous edition (ten people came if we count the janitor). Having the event in the evening meant that there was plenty of time to talk and spend some time really using the various machines on display and it our minds.

A big thank you to Outcash, Boobson, JurrasicP, Rigalo and everyone else who organised the show!

    Re: Amiga Unveils New MicroA1 To Satisfy Amiga "Lovers"
    Posted on: 2004-10-24 17:30:02   By: Anonymous
    LOL! :-D

    This was brilliant! :-)

Posted on: 2004-10-24 21:24:49   By: Anonymous
Hey! You got my part wrong! I usually insult more and laugh
less! :-)

Alkis Tsapanidis

    Re: Hey!
    Posted on: 2004-10-24 23:00:30   By: Anonymous
    I get a lot of laughs from this site, but they're guilty laughs. You people are cheap and lowbrow comics.

    I expect you to straighten your act up in the next year! ;)

    PS: Maybe this is the right planet after all!

No Subject
Posted on: 2004-10-25 00:41:47   By: Anonymous
I am missing Phillipe Bourdin "_PAB_", he's the unofficial official
hyperion speaker. But I guess his english is too bad so he's only
known to the German readers.
But IMHO he got the cup for best red troll on amiga-news.de.
I am sorry for all non German readers, you really miss a big fun
reading his comments. "Yeah - *I* know better than the Friedens
themself what they think!"

Posted on: 2004-10-25 01:47:07   By: Anonymous
Excellent article, I enjoyed reading it :) Must have taken ages to do this.

Anyway, it's time to apply my cream...


No Subject
Posted on: 2004-10-25 03:10:23   By: Anonymous

    Cooksey and Time Rue?
    Posted on: 2004-10-25 04:29:42   By: ashiq
    Where are Cooksey and Tim Rue(3seas) then hm?

    To the site owners
    Posted on: 2004-10-25 04:34:21   By: Anonymous


No Subject
Posted on: 2004-10-25 05:02:06   By: Anonymous
Ami603 is a spanish dumbass red troll. He even denies the existence of red and blue trolls on the amiga kkkommunity :)

    Posted on: 2004-10-25 06:50:05   By: Anonymous
    Spain seems full of red trolls :)

    An OS for rule them all, an OS for run them all, OS4 go rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Re: Re:
      Posted on: 2004-10-25 10:17:08   By: Anonymous
      red means inquisition and blood. With blood for amiga ;-)

      Re: Re:
      Posted on: 2004-10-25 17:48:24   By: Anonymous
      yes, there are a lot of red trolls in Spain but nearly everybody have classic amiga or Pegasos ;)

No Subject
Posted on: 2004-10-25 17:35:04   By: Anonymous
Atlantis for MorphOS is the next version of my Linux browser, it's a total rewrite of the web browser. It's brand new from the ground up, rewritten for the Pegasos PPC hardware. And it's bloody fast. It's currently in beta testing at 20 external sites, and it's just about ready to go – in three more weeks. The components are ready, I just have to plug them together and go.


    Posted on: 2004-10-25 22:11:19   By: Anonymous
    You guys forgot me AGAIN!!!

    Oh... Wait... That's a GOOD thing!


      More posts
      Posted on: 2004-10-25 23:32:41   By: Anonymous
      The site has a hardcoded limit of 50 messages per article, it will fall over when it reaches that limit. So keep the momentum going!

No Subject
Posted on: 2004-10-26 07:07:53   By: Anonymous
Eugenia, could you please delete that article? He's trolling.

Mike Bouma

Another quote?
Posted on: 2004-10-29 01:03:22   By: Anonymous
  Edited By: samuraijack
On: 2004-10-29 05:59:13
It's not Länger, you moron

"It's MY stall space!!! Buck, you must die! For this I won't support my products under MorphOS any more, like all the other OS's I don't support! Haha, that will teach you, stall-stealer!"

-- Jens "(cat)weasel" Schönfeld

sme old.. same old..
Posted on: 2004-10-29 14:43:47   By: Anonymous
And to think you could have had such fun with my real name. You wasted an oppertunity - but then if you are that ignorant :-)

I suppose I'm meant to say something derogatory about blue...
Hows this: They are a *bleep* band.

Suck my cock you blue bastards
Posted on: 2004-10-31 02:13:29   By: Anonymous
I was introduced to Amigaworld by MikeB in March 2003, on an (Amiga Inc/Community M/L list –ACAG). At that time I was getting increasingly fed up at the apparent bias towards Amigas Competitor on another Amiga site. The Shifting of the Site to the competitor’s server, coupled with the announcement of their subsequent sponsorship finally broke the proverbial back and I left, publicly announcing that I was going to AW. Best wishes, etc. I joined Amigaworld as number 264. What I found incredible was that my announcement would have such repercussions. Within days the membership on AW had almost doubled! It seems I was the snowflake that caused the avalanche! On my arrival on Amigaworld, I privately emailed Amiga, Hyperion and Eyetech and asked them for their support of AW. The result is Fleecy`s Q&A`s, Hyperion regularly posting and Eyetech now sponsoring the site. Thanks to everyone’s efforts, not least of all, my fellow moderators/Admins and the maestro himself, David Doyle, Amigaworld is doing well and, at the time of writing, Amigaworld now has 1360 members!

So how did I become a moderator on Amigaworld? Well, Back in April 2003 I discovered IRC (finally) and the #Amigaworld channel, within weeks, of being there, most of the users voted for me to become Channel Op, Which considering how wet behind the ears I was, came as a big surprise! However, given how good AmIRC is, (Thanks to the vapor team) I was soon moderating like the best of them on channel.

I have only been a moderator on Amigaworld.net for about a month, Myself and MikeB have proven to be quite controversial with the Anti-Amiga people, since all we really care about is a community portal that reflects the wishes of it members which are:
· Free from competitor evangelisms
· Free from unnecessary vitriol
· Friendly and flame/troll free

Many outsiders would argue that we don’t want to live in the real world, don’t wish to see alternatives, that we are all locked in a fantasyland etc, etc. Far from it, most members visit the other sites and are aware of what’s going on. Amigaworld serves as their break from the maddening crowd; a home away from all the shouting.

The future? Well given its stance. contributors and members, I believe that Amigaworld will one day be the biggest Amiga Community Portal in the world by far.

    Re: Suck my cock you blue bastards
    Posted on: 2004-10-31 17:10:28   By: Anonymous
    "I joined Amigaworld as number 264. What I found incredible was that my announcement would have such repercussions. Within days the membership on AW had almost doubled! It seems I was the snowflake that caused the avalanche!"

    ooh, can I suck you off? you're so good, I wish I had as much influence in the Amiga community as you, I wish I was as important as you. In fact, I want to BE you. Can you father my children?? As that's as close as I'll be able to get to actually being the Amiga leg-end Mikey_C. I'm having orgasms just thinking about you. I'm wet with excitement.

    Re: Suck my c you blue bastards
    Posted on: 2004-11-01 06:46:08   By: samuraijack
      Edited By: samuraijack
    On: 2004-11-30 20:35:42
    Hehe...that's funny. So funny I think I'll have to come out of satire mode and deal it a fatal reality blow. My conscience doesn't let me rest when there are people so bafflingly clueless in the world.

    AmigaWorld.net only exists as a cure for a symptom, not the underlying cause. Look at yourselves, I mean the OS4 people. You rally around a horribly broken motherboard sold at an obscene cost (because the original was a non-existant sham), use an unfinished, amateur OS with poor initial design and no commercial future, and worst still, you refer to yourselves and only yourselves as the True Amigans because a Snoqualmie ex-company with less money than I have down my sofa and who can't even send out a 50 USD voucher to 1100 people said so!

    No wonder you people were a laughing stock from the beginning. An object of ridicule for the "blues" with their much more developed MorphOS and far better Pegasos, an even bigger object of ridicule for people who own PCs and use emulators that outperform and outmatch your "Amiga OS4" by leagues.

    Yet you responded to any criticism in the true fanatic way, not by improving or fixing problems, say, but by simply disconnecting yourself and making yourselves, like, look like a big old bunch of weirdo fanboy losers.

    And now you hide away in that site, viciously protected by stupid bigots like Mikey_C and the ever-idiotic Alkemyst. Oh and of course, Mike "Seehund, stop brainwashing me with your sig!" Bouma, that nasty, sneaky weasel of a man. That only made people laugh harder at your need for such "security" through censorship. You're a joke to the whole internet, and hiding away in your safe and protected "anti-criticism" zone spreading disinformation and pretending that the world hates you because We're all Evil and you are of the True Faith isn't going to change that! Unpopular amongst Anti-Amiga people? Don't you mean hated by anyone who isn't interested in a Teron and HyperionOS because of their huge number of problems but isn't actually allowed to mention any of it with their previously unalienable right of freedom of expression with your *beep*hole moderators and your nasty "special business interests" looking over their shoulders? And what the hell right do you people have calling long time Amiga lovers "Anti-Amiga" just because we're not swallowing Amiga Inc's blatant con tricks and take offence at the way your site takes a fresh, steaming dump upon the Amiga's memory with every comment you censor and with every fanboy idiocy you spawn? We're not anti-Amiga, we're just anti-YOU. You're an insult to everything we loved about the Amiga.

    And your special brand of AmigaWorld Delusion is showing even here. Biggest Amiga portal in the world? You're not even AMIGA users, you're a tiny bunch of self-righteous Teron wannabe Amiga users with a huge chip on your shoulders, thats even if you actually OWN an A1, which judging by the IE and mIRC traffic on your site and IRC channels, not all of you do! 1360 users? You mean 1360 signed up accounts, surely! That's probably less than 800 users, to match the 800 AmigaONEs produced. And how many developers? About 10 actually capable ones? Wow, you'll really rule the world now! Unless the AmigaONE goes a revolution, fixes its bugs, supports G5, and quarters in price, you aren't ever going to match the double number of Pegasos sold to home consumers, never mind build a new community!

    You, my friend, needed a reality check, and there it was. Try to think from now on and you'll not get as many. You're not in censorship world now, boy. Try not to cry the first time you come across an opposing opinion.

      Re: Suck my c you blue bastards
      Posted on: 2004-11-01 11:20:53   By: Anonymous
      I agree


      Re: Suck my c you blue bastards
      Posted on: 2004-11-02 19:47:02   By: Anonymous
      wet towel in a face, and a big one

      Posted on: 2004-11-09 07:24:23   By: Anonymous
      REMOVE the dots!


      Pass the iron..
      Posted on: 2005-01-12 17:37:58   By: Anonymous
      "You're not even AMIGA users, you're a tiny bunch of self-righteous Teron wannabe Amiga users with a huge chip on your shoulders."

      Hahaha - did you write that with a straight face?

Posted on: 2004-12-09 20:27:42   By: Anonymous
Nothing about the King and Queen of Con - Ryan and Christina Czerwinski - AKA Merlancia, The World of Merlancia.

The best
Posted on: 2006-11-08 18:11:44   By: Anonymous
The best article on WP by far, and the 'reply' by samuraijack has me in stitches...

We want more articles like this!!!!!!

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